I'm (slowly) learning more about how to "wait upon the Lord." New opportunities for me to examine and stretch my faith. For several years I've been realizing that I have such a strong desire for "food storage" that I too often lack appreciation for the "manna" that comes daily to sustain me. I an so easily ignore the day to day ustennce that gets me through, while focusing overmuch on the answers and resolutions that have not yet appeared on the horizon. In those times, it's too easy to become almost childish (as opposed to the desirable "chlld-like") along life's journey, asking impatiently and much too often, "Are we there, yet?"
But I'm learning...I think. Dad once read me a statement from C.S. Lewis, saying, "When we know we are on the right path, it is inappropriate to ask for mile markers." So I try to stop thinking so much about whether or not I'm "there," and more patiently and faithfully wait upon the Lord.
One last thought (for now), I think one of the challenges of waiting upon the Lord--and most other things in life--is finding the right balance. You've all heard me say that I don't think the Lord wants us sitting on our suitcases waiting for the bus. To move forward, to find a direction, to be anxiously engaged in good, seems to me essential. The tricky part, in my opinion, is being appropriately invested in those good works and directions while not minding if the Lord has something entirely different in mind for us and we have to give up on our own temporal goals and change our direction. I find it challenging to invest meaningfully in what I believe are good directions and yet, to be prepared and soft-hearted (as opposed to soft-headed) about giving up on any or all of those directions, if it becomes clear that this is not the direction the Lord wants me to go. It's too easy, sometimes, for me to feel, "Well, if the things I'm working on aren't happening, I'll just sit here and wait for the telegram." Tempting, but I don't hink that's the correct response.
Well, let me not fail to clearly express that I am grateful for the things I've learned and for the areas I'm still trying to figure out. I begin my prayers with expressions of gratitude for the gospel and for my husband and children and, not infrequently, the prayer doesn't get any further than that (although I do regulalry petition the Lord on your behalf--all of you). I have so much to be grateful for.
I love you.
Mom
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